Swipe Left on These 5 Common Online Dating Scams (2024)

Remember The 5 Love Languages book that ruled the '90s? The premise is that people perceive and show deep emotions through five distinct love languages. The names are trademarked, of course, but they boil down to doing favors, enjoying intimate moments, giving gifts, sharing kind words, and spending time together.

It turns out that online romance scammers often use tactics akin to a "love language," too. But unlike the romantic behaviors in the book, a scammer's love language isn't meant to gain empathy or understanding. Scammers just want their victims besotted and vulnerable as quickly as possible so they can steal their money and move on.

So, who are the people getting scammed? How do scammers groom their victims? To find out, I spoke to Ashley Rose, CEO of Living Security, an online security training firm, about the dangers of online dating and what people can watch out for as they seek their soulmate online.

Decoding the 5 Love Languages of Romance Scammers

Rose told me that sometimes, there are warning signs that may indicate an online scam is afoot. I've boiled these signs down to five love languages that romance scammers may use when luring in a victim on a dating app.

1. Acts of Speed

Rose said scammers try to lock down the relationship quickly. “Scammers [are] trying to get your heart connected. They're saying, ‘I love you,’ and they're moving very fast in the relationship,” she said.

2. Receiving Money

Money requests in any form are a giant red flag when it comes to online dating, especially for older victims. “Don't send money to anyone you meet online," Rose said. "That should just be across the board.”

3. Faked Photos, Videos, or Voice Calls

It’s important to verify whether the person sending you photos is the person you’re speaking to online. Rose said, “If they're sending you images, you can do reverse image searches on Google. A lot of these scammers are taking people's pictures from social media accounts or somewhere else online and sending them.”

4. Requests for Information

In some instances, your personal information is even more valuable than cash to a scammer looking to commit identity fraud. Rose said, “Things like your birthday, your Social Security number, your banking information—all of that can [allow] the scammer to take on your identity.”

5. Virtual-Only Touch

Be wary of people who always have an excuse not to meet in person."If you're trying to meet up and you set a time and date, and then, ‘Oh, I have a business trip that came up' or somebody got sick, or this happened, they’re avoiding in-person meetups,” Rose said, warning of common red flags.

The Most Popular Online Romance Scams in 2024

Romance scammers on dating apps use common social engineering scams, too. According to a new report, these kinds of scams are even easier because of AI technology. In McAfee's 2024 Modern Love study, more than 40% of the survey participants said they'd found AI-generated photos and profile text on dating platforms in the past year. It's not surprising then that a third of the people surveyed said they’d had an online love interest turn out to be a scammer.

There's also been an uptick in oh-so-unappetizingly-named "pig-butchering scams." These schemes take social engineering to new heights. It's called pig butchering because the criminals aren’t just looking to nab your credit card information or gain access to a single email account. Scammers go for the whole hog and "fatten up" how much they can get from victims, hoping to clear out your bank accounts, steal your identity, max out your credit cards, leave you in financial ruin.

Here's how it works: A scammer contacts their victims via a dating app, social media, or SMS and strikes up a conversation. After building trust, they ask the victim to download an app or visit a website to invest in cryptocurrency. If you've read this far, you probably know what's coming next. The victim's banking details go in, and the criminals clean their money out. Typically, the scammer deletes their dating profile from the platform immediately, so the victim is left high and dry.

Why Online Romance Scams Work

Rose told me that, historically, elders were prime targets for romantic ruses because they were less tech-savvy. But today’s scammers use info from social media posts to groom victims of all ages and gain their trust.

“The biggest factor is the amount of time and energy that these scammers and criminals are putting into grooming," Rose said. "Getting to know you, empathizing, really spending that time to build a connection before coming in and asking for a loan, or funding, or an investment. It's really causing smart, savvy, highly technical people to break down their guard and unfortunately get victimized.”

Rose added that scammers take advantage of the highly detailed information that people share online to build rapport and gain confidence. “If you are talking about your favorite sports team, it becomes their favorite sports team. Anything that's very personal can help them form a quicker connection, which is what the scammers are looking for, so try to protect that type of information.”

Navigate Dating Apps With Caution

These warnings may sound a bit depressing, but you can still find love and affection online. The important thing, according to Rose, is to go into the relationship with a healthy dose of skepticism and proceed slowly from that point. Scammers are usually impatient and will move on, while a real love match grows at its own pace.

Ready to dip your toes into the dating pool? Use the above suggestions and check out our picks for the best dating apps.