Getting asked to eulogize is a big honor and a huge responsibility. Learning how to write a eulogy is not a cookie-cutter process. Everyone has their own way of eulogizing a lost loved one.
But what is a eulogy? How long should a eulogy be and who gets to write a eulogy? Get the answers to these questions right here with this handy guide about eulogies.
What Is a Eulogy?
Eulogies have their roots inancient Greek poetrybut they were popularized by the Christian church later on in history. A eulogy is a heartfelt speech presented by someone that the deceased had a strong connection with.
This is often an immediate family member, significant other, wife, husband, or child. During a eulogy, the person reading the eulogy goes to the front of the funeral stage. They are referred to as the eulogizer.
They read a well-thought-out and heartfelt speech written about the life of the deceased individual. It serves as a summation and final word about the deceased person's life.
Who Gets to Write a Eulogy?
A eulogy is most often written by an immediate family member or loved one of the deceased individual. This person should have spent a lot of time with the deceased and know them better than anybody else.
Anybody can be a eulogizer from parents, to friends, to children. If you need tips on writing a eulogy for your parents, check out this guide on how to write aeulogy for a mother.
How Long Should a Eulogy Be?
The length of your eulogy all depends on personal preference and the length of the funeral ceremony in general. A good rule of thumb is to keep your eulogy between 5 and 10 minutes long.
Recent data suggests that the average adult attention span doesn't last muchlonger than 5 minutes. The bereaved and grieving people at the funeral may not be able to focus for much longer than that.
Keeping your eulogy short and sweet is always a good call, but make sure to say everything that you want to say. Don't leave important details out or shorten heartfelt stories to make your eulogy more timely.
That being said, long-winded tales and pontifications may be better saved for an after-service discussion rather than a eulogy. You want your eulogy to be timely and relatable.
It should touch everyone present at the service and leave them with an overall positive feeling, despite annunciating their feeling of loss. It can be tricky, but if you speak from the heart about a loved one you should be fine.
Speak From the Heart
When you write your eulogy you should speak from your heart. You need to ask, what is a eulogy to you? How would you want to be eulogized at your funeral and how can you do it for somebody else?
Write a heartfelt eulogy today by speaking from the heart and being true to your relationship with the deceased. Then, to help aid you in your funeral planning processcontact usat your soonest convenience.
At Schumacher & Benner Funeral Home and Crematory, we want to take care of you and your family in any way possible. Our services include traditional funeral services, celebration of life services, cremations, selection of memorial and headstones, and more.
FAQs
A eulogy is a brief but heartfelt speech given at a memorial service, funeral or celebration of life. Being asked to deliver a eulogy is a great honor, usually reserved for a close friend, or family member. It is important that the person giving the speech knew the deceased well.
Who usually writes the eulogy? ›
Eulogies are usually written and delivered by a family member such as a spouse or adult child, or a close friend. Religious leaders or celebrants can also write eulogies inspired by memories and anecdotes shared by friends and family.
How long does a eulogy take at crematorium? ›
We find that most eulogies are between five and ten minutes in duration. If you are sharing the eulogy with others aim for around three minutes each. Adjust the content of your remembrance speech to ensure it is not too brief, or too lengthy.
What is a funeral eulogy? ›
A eulogy is a speech given at a funeral in commemoration of someone's life. It is a tribute to the person who died and can be delivered by family members or friends. Often the eulogy will tell stories from their life and give an overview of their achievements.
Who can give a eulogy at a funeral? ›
Another family member, a lifelong friend or a trusted co-worker might have the perfect combination for the job – a deep knowledge of the person who died and good writing and public speaking abilities. In some cases, the officiant, who may be a priest, minister, or professional celebrant, will give the eulogy.
What should you not say in a eulogy? ›
9 Things to Avoid When Writing a Eulogy
- Listing Embarrassing Details. ...
- Sharing Private & Confidential Matters. ...
- Listing Specific Details About the Death. ...
- Sharing Past Grudges & Resentment. ...
- Talking About Yourself Too Much. ...
- Putting Words into the Deceased Mouth. ...
- Not Being Personal Enough. ...
- Rambling & Going Off-Topic.
Commonly, eulogies are around three to seven minutes long, but this can vary. Funerals tend to take 45 minutes, so around this length is standard. When you've written your eulogy, try practising it out loud, as this can take longer than reading it in your head.
What is a good example of a eulogy? ›
Example eulogy:
My dad was my hero. No matter how busy things got, he always made time for the people he cared about, and showed us that family always comes first – no matter what. Everyone who knew him knew how proud he was of the people he loved, of his dog, Buddy, and of his car… of course.
What is the best opening line for a eulogy? ›
You could start with something simple like: “My name is __________ , the wife/husband/son/daughter/friend of ___________.” Another idea is to explain how you knew the deceased, or how you first met. However, you should take care to avoid focusing the eulogy on you.
What sentences to end a eulogy? ›
If you're unsure how to end your eulogy, finish with a simple goodbye, or a thank you for the memories you shared. You might choose to use traditional phrases like 'rest in peace' or 'sleep well'. Or you can use something less formal, like a greeting or joke you used to share with the person who has died.
Though your eulogy doesn't have to read like an obituary or give all of the basic information about the life of the deceased, you should touch on a few key points, such as what his family life was like, what his career achievements were, and what hobbies and interests mattered the most to him.
How to not cry when giving an eulogy? ›
How to Not Cry While Delivering a Eulogy
- Keep Calm. Most people have a fear of public speaking. ...
- Look at the Crowd. As you are giving your speech, if you begin to feel tears swell up, look up at the audience. ...
- Blink. ...
- Take a Break. ...
- Practice Your Speech.
"Please accept my deepest condolences for your loss." "(The deceased) was a great person, and I'll miss them very much." "(He/she) meant a lot to me and everyone else at (the work place.) (He/she) contributed a lot to the company and our team, and (the deceased) will be missed."
Can you have a funeral with no eulogy? ›
The family should be the ones who decide how they want the service to play out. Some families are open to having multiple eulogies, while others only have one or two people speaking. Others might not have a eulogy at all.
Where would you be likely to hear a eulogy? ›
A eulogy is a speech made in remembrance of someone who has died. The eulogy speech is typically made at their funeral, and pays tribute to their life in some shape of form.
What are the 7 steps to writing an eulogy? ›
A 7 step guide to writing a eulogy that honors your loved one.
- Interview family and friends. Don't feel that the complete weight of remembering your loved one is on your shoulders. ...
- Tell a story (or stories) ...
- Don't think about it as public speaking. ...
- Keep it brief. ...
- Read it out loud. ...
- Humor heals. ...
- Take a deep breath.
Most funeral services have one to two eulogies, but there may be more in some cases. Funeral services are flexible and are scheduled to last longer if needed. If you plan on having multiple eulogy speakers, plan ahead and work them into the schedule as best as possible.
What are the three parts of a eulogy? ›
In this article, we've broken down a eulogy into three parts: introduction, middle, and conclusion, with examples to help guide you.
Does the pastor do the eulogy? ›
The eulogy can be delivered by a clergy person, a family member or a friend of the person who died. Instead of a traditional eulogy delivered by one person, you may choose to ask several people to speak and share their memories.
